I actually consider myself to be more of a late-bloomer when it comes to make up. Primarily because I was a secretly-girly-girl-tomboy who was too ashamed to give myself up to my girly tendencies, but also because I was lazy and couldn't bother with the whole process of make up. But the women of my mother's side; primarily my mother and grandma, shook me awake. I loved staying over at my grandparents' home, especially because my baba would have so many make up items- bottles and bottles of mysterious liquids, palettes, tubes and tubes of lipstick... More than anyone else, she taught me the "etiquettes of being a lady" by taking care of my skin. Then there was my older cousin Lisa, who would bring her kiddy-makeup when she came over, and we spent nights applying clown make up on our faces, thinking that we were oh so "mature".
The women in my family never slacked off when upkeeping their look- even my great-grandmother will have my uncle take her to the market so she could buy her cosmetics.
{glittery babyface.}Then came my true introduction to make-up, age 14/5, when I was taking part in a theatre production at my school. One of the older students applied make up on me, and I saw my face transform right in front of my eyes. To me, she performed magic right in front of my eyes. I was mesmerized. Then came the comments from the other girls, telling me that I looked so much better with make up on my face. I was convinced that make up was the way to go.
Soon after, my mama bought me my first eyeshadow palette from Majorica Majorca, a makeup line by Shiseido I was swooning over for the past couple weeks. And then it all began.
{dark eyes and impressively long lower lashes.}The usual regimen consisted of powder, crazily applied eyeliner (esp during the I is so gawthic era), and even crazier eyeshadow around the eyes. When I got my hands on my first Urban Decay eyeshadow palette, I went crazier. When I became a fan of Dita von Teese, the cat eye-liner was in full effect. Then came the phase where I could not leave my house bare faced. Every time my mama told me to eat breakfast instead of painting my face, I yelled back at her. Every time my boyfriend told me he wanted me not to wear make up, I would become frustrated with his ignorance. (In all fairness, he was probably trying to be nice, but to me it felt like he was denying the effort and art I put in my face at the time... Silly when I think about it now)
{i have eyebrows now.}
Soon enough, I discovered the wonder of drawn-in eyebrows. Excessive plucking, joined with alopecia and eczema had massacred my natural eyebrows, and I had grown familiar with the sans-brow look. My mama kept on pestering me to draw them in, telling me I looked like a "rotten Marilyn Manson" due to the lack of eyebrows and excessive eyeliner.
{daily ritual.}To this day, I still have fun with make up as much as I did when I first discovered the wonders of it. It's a form of art, self expression, and all-time fun-activity. But at the same time, I feel that a lot of girls (and boys, possibly) let themselves be taken over by it as well. I had a friend who just wouldn't take off her make-up during school trips. I myself had a phase where I felt insecure without the colors and lines applied onto my empty canvas.
It took me a while to get in touch with the face I was born in. It took me a while to say "it's okay" to not wearing make up when going outside. It was almost as a tedious, long road of me accepting myself wearing glasses/having bad eyes/accepting my freckles/victorious dark circles from long nights of homework at art school. My friend was impressed when I walked out the door without makeup when visiting him. I had changed.
And how can you love your art without loving the original canvas?
And now I present to you, the bare face.
Hazel taught me how to do spray-paint tie-dye! So easy and fun! I got my stockings + shoes blasted with paint, but who cares? I need to make more of these!
To take a break from my hectic work schedule, I made some zines, limited to five copies, and distributed them to people I like, and people who would understand (+ accept) my crude sense of humor. More zines are to come in the near future!
